Chicago 2600 mini-FAQ Version 2.2.1 (Influenced and Copyrighted by RogerB & WK) (Corrections and HTML by WK)
Q: Where will the next 2600 meeting be?
A: Screenz at 2717 North Clark Street.
Q: If I show up to these meetings, which are being held in someone's place
of business, Do I have to order anything?
A: No one is going to force you to do anything, but it would be very nice
if you did order something. Please don't be a schmuck.
Q: When are 2600 meetings held?
A: On the first Friday of every month between 5:00pm and 8:00pm.
Q: Will there be giveaways?
A: You bet your ass! Actually, maybe not.
Q: Is this location permanent?
A: We hope so. There have been some difficulties in finding a home for
the meeting. These difficulties range from places agreeing to host the
meeting and then getting closed down by The City of Chicago to general
confusion over public transportation, To all around shitty service from the
last place hosting the 2600 meetings
Q: Aren't the meetings supposed to be at the 3rd Coast Cafe, Union
Station, Pogo the Clown's crawl space, or any of a number of other
places??
A: Not any more.
Q: What might happen if I choose not to attend a 2600 meeting?
A: Failure to attend 2600 meetings can have unpredictable consequences,
especially if you are the kingpin of a large Chicago area ISP.
Many people have reported symptoms similar, But not restricted to, the following....
Clenched butt cheeks, shrunken testicles, constent low-grade fear, swollen breasts in males, euphoria, vomiting, The Shakes, nausea, unemployment, fondness for navy blue smoking jackets, night sweats, bleeding from the eyes, hair loss, constipation, severe jock itch, painful rectal polyps, scoliosis, nasty paper cuts, heart worms, flu like symptoms, forgetfulness, forgetfulness, err forgetfulness, agitation, drowsiness, tooth decay, carpal tunnel syndrome, genital sagging, split ends, Duputryn's disease, broken nails, pink eye, soft stool, low sperm count, lawn gnome fetish, low self-esteem, loss of gender identity, hearing loss, misplaced car keys, ring around the collar, "monster tumors", Dutch elm disease, hair where there wasn't hair before, premature graying, no hair where there once was hair, dwarfism, psoriasis, dependent personality disorder, shyness, gigantic tongue, sluggishness, psoriasis, false memory syndrome, the Helsinki syndrome, public masturbation working the word "Dude" into every conversation, loss of will, suicidal tendencies, Fondness for using Makita power tools, itchy flaky scalp, cat scratch fever, the munchies, agoraphobia, bestialism, alcoholism, that gassy and bloated feeling, loss of night vision, impotence, alienation from polite society, cramps, headaches, incomprehensible babbling, the voices won't stop, comprehensible babbling, noogies, rigormortis, swollen pits, that not so fresh feeling, clitoral atrophy, low altitude vertigo, religion, smurfism, weight gain, angina, vaginal dryness, bleeding gums, myopia, hairy palms, bashful kidneys, rectal crust, diarrhea, cotton mouth, penile numbness, volcanopneumotrichonosis, the mange, severe acne, ringing in the ears, no one to relate to but the sea, Tourrette's syndrome (Fucking Hackers), tricadecaphobia, papaphobia, anti-semitism, projectile promiscuity, supermarket psychosis, wedgies, spring fever, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, stuffy-head-you-can't-rest, submissiveness, heart palpitations, cooties, runny nose, itchy eyes, bad potbelly, spelling, rug burn, virginal hypertrophy, migraine headaches and attention deficit dis... HEY LETS GO RIDE OUR BIKES!!! Q: Do I have to be a member of your club to attend the meetings? A: There is no club. 2600 meetings are just a chance for concerned citizens to get together and discuss issues relating to computer security, encryption, telephony, privacy issues, the freedom of information, and anything else that seems relevant. THERE IS NO 2600 CLUB!, and if there were most people who go to the meetings probably wouldn't join it. Q: Who is in charge of these meetings? A: Nobody, and especially not the author or poster of this FAQ. Q: I don't know anything about computers, but I want to learn, or I am just curious about what these meetings are all about, am I welcome? A: Yes. EVERYONE is welcome. The atmosphere at these meetings is pretty friendly, so don't worry. Q: Wow! Everyone is welcome. That's great because I am border-line psychotic and I like to corner people at meetings such as yours, and start doing any or all of the following: 1) Babble on endlessly about how extra-solar lifeforms are controlling our thoughts. 2) Start rapping in front of an unwilling, unappreciative, and (quite frankly) frightened audience. 3) Choke people, whom I don't even know. 4) Mumble to myself and get into fights with people who are not in the room. 5) A local, federal or state law enforcement agent? A: Yeah, I guess you're welcome too. Q: I'm an admin at one of Chicago's best Internet Service Providers, am I allowed to come to your meeting? A: YES. Admins of most of the larger ISP's in Chicago have attended and do regularly attend these meetings. You won't be made fun of, and you'll even have a good chance of picking up some new customers.
William Knowles erehwon@dis.org
Last updated 1.31.2000